You have to read this NOW!!!

So you are a loner,/you have lots of friends but don’t know who to trust,/you stopped trusting/you think you are all caught up in the past,/you think that you are gonna end up like your parents/and finally think that you are gonna end up as a mistake and I’ve got only one thing to say to you. You are stronger than you think. 

Don’t judge anybody even yourself. You want to do something than do it! Don’t complain and sit there.  If you want to protest against something, do it. You might or might not regret it. But you are brave enough to do it. Shout! Cry! Laugh! Let yourself feel things that people say that you are not supposed to. Do it , do what you want. Stop analyzing things for long. 

Don’t quit. I say never quit. You are not a loser.  You are not some words coming out of a persons mouth. Push yourself but not hard. Realize you are a person with feelings. Feel things, each emotion. Start to treat yourself better. Care about each other. Be there for each other. Stop egos from coming in your way. 

Find love in people and before that in yourself.  Your happiness may be in things, feelings, people, food, or the most importent self love. Reach out to those in pain, in loss, on the verge of breakdowns, and trouble.  Help each other. Man is a social being. We exist as a community. Its completely your decision who you have to be with, who you have to fall in love with, and to not love. 

Start doing what you love. That’ll ease some of it. And talking it out doesn’t mean attention ,it’s people needing help. Times are bad and good. Stay long on good times and go through bad ones to know what good feels like. Its worth it. 

Don’t go with what society tells you. Society is not a few people its you and me. No one needs to allow you freedom. You have freedom in your head and your hands. No one can snatch them. Don’t let them.  Stop being a people pleaser and start saying no! Its okay to do things your way. 

And most importantly do the things you have always wanted to do. Because the sad truth is you are running out of time. 

Spread the love.                                                    Be extremly happy. 

πŸ’•πŸ’•β€

Letter to an important person in my life on her birthday .Β 

Dearest Anjali ? 

Nay . Happy birthday stupid girl. You might have realised why I’ve been so sweet to you today. I love you. Thats all how I can put my feelings into words. I know you are missing home now. And it’s even sad you can’t be at home on your bday. ( why am I being so formal). Its been so long since I typed long paragraphs or wrote something.

 Starting trouble. Ahem. I wanted to put the best pictures but My shitty phone and shitty memory card. They make me lose photos each month. ( mental mote to buy a new memory card ). 

I want to be the first one to wish you on your bday. So I’ll start calling you at 11.30 and end at 12.10 when I start falling asleep. I wish your hostel mates surprise you as much as we did in 12th grade. That was sooo much fun. We never got together ever again as a group after that. 

So girl,  now you are finally 20. Teenage is officially over. Ok get it 😝. Time to be an adult. I still have time till October. So…  you are older than me. I mean you are way too old. Older than your mental age of 12. I bless you with an infinite number of crushes in life and a one true man. He’s just out there somewhere sleeping now. I have to meet you the next time you are coming home.  Its never too late for a bday treat.  My writer/artist/singer/dancer/personel/mental therapist/highly emotional/ knobby knees/friend/sister/sometimes mother/overprotective(but I love that).

 I love the way you tolerate my incessessant troubling. How you hate my lame jokes but still hear them. I love the way you babble out stories without a stop. I don’t even have to talkπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. You have a new story to share everytime. I think you should be a story teller. One story for each paitient . I hope you started learning to brew those kashayams in big utensils. Isn’t that included in ayurvedic medicine. Happy birthday again. Thank you for being born, for being there everytime I need someone to talk to. For putting up with my shit. Trying to counsel me even though I won’t listen. 

I laaaaaaaav you to  bits and pieces ,to the moon and back and to mars and jupiter and saturn and back. Stay the same. Happy birthday (ha ha ha)πŸ˜πŸ˜†πŸ˜†. 

You know you are just so lucky to have me wish you. Okay?? 

Bye😘😘

Getting an injection

The day was good upto now. I woke up. The usual time. Just enough time to brush,dress up, stuff in breakfast and go. The bus was not much crowded that day. So far good. We got off the bus and on to the food path, giggling at random jokes. And then IT happened.  The pinky finger of my toe hit a rust covered iron bar. First of all why the hell would someone lay an iron bar on a footpath. And second how does that little finger get hit everytime at the wall , at the door and every corner. So I let out a little squeal. And two of my frnds helped me to wash the blood off. Yes it was my blood getting wasted in drops all because of that Fe2+. The stench of even a little blood made me weak in my stomach. 


I reached the class. Everyone told me that I had to get a tetanus injection in a day or I’ll have to face the dire consequences of an infection that might spread. I couldn’t listen to any of the classes. Which probably didn’t matter because I never listened. All this time images of a nurse with a murderous wide smile with a tray full of syringes kept flashing in my mind. I felt weak in the knees and tried to gather courage into myself in vain. I reached home after the class and told my Amma about it. 

In some minutes we were there in the hospitals OP.  And those dreaded moments where about to come. I kept comforting myself that it wouldn’t be painful at all and asking myself to stay strong. That it was like an ant biting you but you couldn’t do anything about it. My turn came. The nurse came. Smiling at me. I asked in my mind “why the hell are you smiling at me, when you are going to prick me with that big needle, which is going to get into my skin ,evil women” . I asked her if it would hurt. And she laughed sarcasticly at an 18 year old and looked at me as if I was joking. Infact I was not. She prepared the syringe. It looked huge to me and deadly. What if it got stuck in my skin. What if she punched it on me ? Stupid thoughts. But I couldn’t resist in thinking so. 

But suprisingly it got over in seconds. And the atmosphere of earth calmed. I felt better. I was going back home and the world was still a better place.

A short note on Reservations πŸ˜‘


I really want to give a finger for reservations . Messing with us since childhood. 

Most of you have them ,and you babies won’t let them go. Reservations stand in the way of eligibility . SC , OBC , ST , and others. All these VIP passes for you people. Shhhhsh… Hush you shouldn’t say such things in public.  They differentiate people. India is an equal country . Oh shut up.  You can ask out loudly in application forms,  admissions , and they are to be considered before two hearts link with each other. Matrimonial columns screaming out aloud. πŸ˜‘

Goverments change over five years. And people won’t.  You have marks but you aren’t eligible . Some “Reserved” ones have less marks . But there super reserving powers throw them to the front. 

When will we change . 😳

We already have lots of superheroes around us . And we don’t need any shitty reserved heroes. 😑

As long as this doesn’t change the country’s future is bloody bleak darlings . 

-a young person with a creaky future in the great Bharath

International men’s Day . . . Say what ? We have a day too bruhhh! Never knewΒ 

Men!Men! Oh the dear men in my life . Your day is here. But hell yeah as some posts in instagram that I saw today said there are no doddles for you from google,no celebration, and no cheerful wishes. 😈

I wished most of those special men in my life. My brothers, my friends, my dad , my ex, my lover, the neighbour guy the lists goes on doesn’t it girls if you start to wish them. See these people exist in a very special place in ourselves. 😊

We’ve got woman’s Day. To celebrate ourselves as females. There’s lot of talk. The ads are full of women in papers and in channels. “Be proud of being a XX Chromosome” starts coming up.                       Of course, there are men who disgust us, who look down upon us,rape us, and even torture us to death. But there are kindful souls out there. There are always two sides to a story. They are there when we need to an extent anything. Though they don’t express themselves much. But they do inside, just like any of us. Im not trying to be cheesy. They are humans too. You need gender equality nah? . So lets celebrate this together. πŸ˜‡

Its probably too late but go ahead and wish them on their special day. Be ready to reply to texts like – “really ? There’s a men’s day?” And start explaining to them all over again. 

Happy Men’s Day !                                              Take Care. Stay safe. Don’t think you are extinct. And chill its going to be december soon. πŸ˜†

Squeezing Life Outta Students … Entrance Coaching Institutions

Like all students who got into Entrance coaching institutions, I was lured into one too. A repeat course for entrance is when you don’t get it in the first try but you decide to try your lucky dip anyway. Screw you people! I got my common sense back after one repeat. 

My brother got into a good medical college. So I thought, maybe the same brains existed in me and might start working its miracles when I got into the strict study routine. Mughal emperor Shahjahan said Kashmir is The Heaven on Earth. And I say if any hell ever existed here it would be in these entrance coaching institutions. The warden was the evil goddess with the assistant Tantri. Phones weren’t allowed at all except when we got them for half an hour 2 times a week, and that was our weekly stress release time. Imagine placing a hot steaming biriyani infront of a famished foodie who has been on a all rice porridge diet. 

5AM , EVERY MORNING.                                  Sleeping peacefully in our little room, in bunkbeds with little space to keep anything  ( we were living a sanyasi’s life, except for the rich abundance of objective books ) . Suddenly doors rattled, tremors shook us. We opened the door of our rooms and saw the evil goddess parading in her white nightie along the corridors banging doors and destroying the little amount of sleep we got (4 – 5 hours after one tiring day) . That was her job, such a sad job. 

We jumped out of our bed, afraid of her cursing, went for our morning rituals without even knowing what we were doing in our half asleep mode. After grabbing a 5kg objective book we set out of our rooms to study. You know what the best part of these books are that you could always sleep on them or throw it down on an enemy and you could achieve instant death. We tried some questions and unknowingly dozed off to sleep and if you were lucky you got alerted of the goddesse’s arrival. But mostly you were woken up by the goddesse herself who woke you up screeching like a raven throwing evil glances and wild gestures. 

to be continued if I felt so 😝

Dear Women, Turn the subdued silence into chaos . . . !

They ask us to shut up. Cover ourselves. Cover our mouths. Stifle our thoughts and revolts. They preach so high about female empowerment. To make women safe.To make them as equals to men. I say why tag us along you men and why not let us be equal humans. 

See there that’s the girl raped , haven’t you read about her in the papers. Shame on the family. Who’ll marry her now. Serves her right for roaming alone in the streets after sunset. Couldn’t she just stay at home.            Yeah. No one fails to put the blame on her. None of the blame goes on the rapist. He was just going by his natural instincts, she might be the one who lured him. 

Safe at home. Really? There’s her dad who comes home drunk and late looking for someone to vent his anger on. His eyes search for an object and target found. The daughter is abused. But she can tell no one. They say he’s your dad. What will people think. And she’s hushed up. 

Then she grows up and let’s marry her off. Some dowry and parceled off to a strange man for whom she has to start a home for. She works painstakingly with love and not even a happy pleasing word for her. Its her duty , the reason why she came home.You get a wife and the house gets a free servant. She’s pregnant now. She lets a sigh of comfort when its a boy. What fate it would have to go through if it was an XX chromosome. 

Why can’t you raise your frickin voices women. Why hush yourselves up. So that your daughters can endure the painful torture that you’ve been going through for ages. Educate your children,Boy or girl, treat them equally and asks them to do so too. Respect yourselves and love yourself. Be self independent and learn to defend yourself from wrong. There’s nothing that you can’t do if you are a women. Be financially savvy. Smile. Be a courageous and loving human. And most importantly say what you mean.

 You’ll survive on your own. You’ll learn on your own. Because then only you are full and powered. 

Speak up !Β 

Don’t let frowns let you down. Don’t fake nod. This includes doing what you think is right, rather than going with the flow. Go with the flow,and you’ll be regretting about what could have been. As Robert Frost rightly said “Two roads diverged in a wood, I took the one less travelled and that has made all the difference” . 

Create your own space, a new path that defines you. Don’t let others speak for you. Its good to get inspired by good deeds but don’t get too influenced. A little too much of anything is a lot dangerous. Speak for whats yours,whats right,whats wrong and everything that needs to be spoken out because it should be. 

Speak loud, clear and penetrating thoughts. Make them audible rather than welling it up inside. Burst open those wild ideas to the world, because we have ears to hear and a mind to think. And also life lessons to be passed on. 

Blissful after a long timeΒ 

 

Its my escape from reality and into another world . A passage built by  books. A place where the the characters are unknown to my nosing around and visuals left to my imagination . 

Glad the busy days are over and saddened by the thought of another wave coming. All I want to enjoy is this little time. Legs stretched . On the favorite spot in the room with rain lashing on my windows eager to come inside I think . 

Theres just me and the book for now and the rain as the frequent nosy neighbour. And  I get lost into another plot another time span and another blissful time . 

Remembering be a piece of cake Whilst forgetting is so tough

You know its easy to remember what you did a moment ago . What you did years before. Each birthday,  meeting new people , special moments all come back so easily to the mind. 

While when you want to forget something or somebody they seem to get more attached to you. We all despise that. What if you could wipe all those memories away like in that movie. Sometimes they say all those memories stay to help you for the coming times. But I say its bullshit. Why should you fall again knowing that you’ll hurt youself. 

Like proffessor lockharts spell done in the right way. If only there was a wand and I was a wizard.